Camelot Calls
by Loopstagirl
Summary: A series of unrelated one-shots following some of the thoughts and adventures of our favourite characters. Rating viable to changing. Chapter 19 - Morgana is just somebody that Merlin used to know.
1. I Know the Truth

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the show or any of the songs mentioned.**

**Bit of a different thing going on here. Kind of a series of unrelated one shots based of lyrics to different songs. *shrugs* I was challenged. I said yes. End of story. But it's a great way of trying some new styles, so feedback is always greatly appreciated!**

**This first one is to the Donny Osmond version of the song I know the Truth.**

**Enjoy!**

Arthur could hear the sounds of the people gathering in the square outside his window, but made no move to stand up and shut it. Why should he shut it? It wasn't his job. It was Merlin's. And there lie the very problem.

Sitting slouched in his chair, his fingers interlocked and propping his chin up, the Crown Prince of Camelot was lost in thoughts. It wouldn't have been so bad if the thoughts weren't plaguing him so, something only intensified by the sounds of the restless crowds outside.

How had it come to this? How had _he_ come to this? Fallen so far, shutting his eyes to anything that he didn't want to accept. He knew in the back of his mind he had always known. How could he have not? The times he should have died, all those miraculous escapes, all the things he couldn't escape. It should have been his time a long time ago, only something was interfering with fate. Altering it and changing it so a destiny Arthur knew nothing about could have been fulfilled. He had looked away every time there was something he didn't understand, something that every rational fibre of his being had denied should have happened. But he had simply ignored it.

What was he supposed to have thought? That he did just have some guardian angel watching over him like he had once commented to his father? He had indeed had someone watching over him for all of this time. It just came from the most unlikely source he could have thought of. He should have died the second day they had met. A quick dagger whilst he had been asleep thanks to Mary Collins. His time should have been then, end of story, age over.

But that had not been the case. It might have been easier. The truth was so much harder to get his head around. Shock was still crashing through him even now, numbing his mind. It was why he was to be found slouched in his chair now rather than out in the square with the rest of his people, being among them and showing his support in the only way he could. How could he face them though? He knew the truth had shocked them as much as it had him, but the cruel mockery of the betrayal would not have stabbed them in the same way as it had penetrated him.

For that was the other thing he could feel once he had made it passed the mind-numbing shock that the truth had to offer. The truth was mocking him. Every way he thought about it, it was there, mocking. How did he _not_ notice? There was no way he should have survived some of the things he had. All the ailments without a cure, quests without a chance of succeeding, and yet, each and every time, he had walked away from it. He should have known! That was what made it so mocking. He was supposed to be the future King, and yet had clearly missed something that had been under his nose for the whole time. What would the people think of him now? How would they be prepared to follow him into battle, allow him to lead them, when he had kept his eyes shut to the truth for all of these years?

In a true Arthur way, the prince had pretended he didn't care. Brushed off the betrayal like it had never happened, reverting himself back to the arrogant prince he had once been. Part of him blamed that on the shock, the raw truth confronting him and making all other thoughts completely void. But what hurt the most was that he still wanted his servant back. He still wanted it to be that cheery face that grumbled about waking him up in the mornings. He still wanted himself to have to curse non-stop when they went hunting about how noisy _he_ was being, how he couldn't do any of his chores right. He would do anything to still have him here. But there was nothing there now. What could there be? Everything they had ever done, ever meant to each other was gone in that split second.

Yet people still expected Arthur to be able to go on with his life. They would expect him to move on from this event, to push it from his mind and chalk it down to experience, nothing more. That was one thing Arthur knew he would never be able to do. ate, with its twisted sense of irony, Fate had decided that now was his time to go. For what chance did he have now? He had felt like his very soul had been crushed when he had found out the one person he had ever considered to be a true friend had actually been lying to him the whole time? His time had truly come to an end.

Of course, he tried to blame it on everything other than his own failure to see the truth. Maybe if he had paid more attention, noticed more, he would have been able to force his mind into speaking up. Instead, he had just stood there, letting the cold hard facts of the matter wash over him. He had a destiny, that was the last thing his servant had said to him. So was it just a cruel twist in his fate that he should feel as if he was being destroyed at the same time? No attack from either within or outside the castle walls had ever dealt him a blow this destroying.

For through the shock and mockery that was the truth, the same truth he had been hiding from for so long, Arthur had come to realise something else. As the crowds below began to get restless and his father's voice could be heard announcing the sentence he was passing on the latest sorcerer, Arthur leapt from his seat. Already the drum beat was sounding out, and as Arthur ran to the window, a black spiral of smoke shot into the air as the pyre was lit.

He had accepted the truth. But he had accepted it too late.

Too late for Merlin, anyway.

**Well, hopefully they aren't all going to be that dark - we shall just see what the next song is. Let me know what you thought?**


	2. As if we never said goodbye

**Number 2! Thank you to those who left me the feedback from the first chapter, much appreciated.**

**This one is based on the song "As if we never said goodbye" from the musical, Sunset Boulevard. And no, I own nothing!**

Gwen strode down the reasonably empty corridors. She looked at them so differently now. No longer was she a maid of Camelot, but one of the Lady's. One who was in love with the acting Regent, the Crown Prince of Camelot.

But as a hand closed gently around her arm and drew her to one side, hidden from the view of any passersby, she let a flicker of a smile cross her face before she sighed. It was not Arthur who was drawing her to the side, but another, one who had held her heart long before the prince.

"Lancelot, we can't do this."

"Please, Gwen. I just need a moment. I've missed you so during my time away. I thought of you every day. And now we are back together. Do you know how hard I have to try and resist you? Each morning I'm a trembling wreck when you walk past, stopping myself from reaching out to you."

Gwen sighed again, turning to face him. She knew how he felt, because she was the same. But things were different now. There was a time when she could have just been with him, had the fairytale romance that every girl dreamed of, the spinning around as if life was nothing more than a playground.

But they couldn't do it anymore. Her loyalties, even if not her heart, belonged to another. Gwen knew it was hard, but it was better to have a jilted Knight than a heartbroken prince. The consequences for those around wouldn't be nearly as severe.

Reaching forward, Gwen cupped Lancelot's face, leaning forward for a brief moment so their foreheads were touching. His hands immediately jumped to hers. Sword worn hands gripped her wrists gently. His touch was warm and grounding. Gwen couldn't help but make the comparison between him and Arthur. They both had similar touches, hardened by battle, but soft when in her hands.

"I'm no doing this to him, Lancelot." She whispered gently, drawing back slightly to look her lover in the eyes. Why couldn't she resist that chocolate brown gaze? It was the colour of the ocean that should be dominating her heart, the blue she saw gazing back at her from across the room. Yet it was not. "I need a moment or so, I'm not ready. So much has changed; I can't do this as well."

"Gwen, stop making excuses." Lancelot whispered back, pain filling his eyes as he looked into hers. "I gave you up to him once. I put aside everything I felt so that you could be happy. But I've come home now, I'm back in Camelot. And..." He paused for a moment. Gwen knew how much this was killing him to say this. It was one of the qualities she had always found so attractive in the Knight. He would always put other people first, but this time, it was obvious Lancelot was fighting back. And with a sinking heart, she knew he would be fighting for her.

"Gwen, I don't want to be alone any more. I've waited long enough for you, you know I have. But no more. I have to be with you. Arthur will survive, he's a fighter. I've had enough of being put to the side. The world isn't going to wait any longer. I love you."

Tears filled Gwen's eyes as she heard the words Arthur rarely uttered. Oh, she knew well enough how he felt, but they had spent years hiding how they were feeling about each other, she was not used to the open declaration. But even now, there was nothing truly honourably about the love she felt for the Knight. Whispered conversations in crowded hallways whenever they thought they could get away with it? She had to admit, there was a bit of a thrill in knowing that she was going behind the future King's back in order to make it happen. Knowing she couldn't say the same thing back to Lancelot without jeopardising everything Arthur had been working towards, she did the only thing she could think of. Leaning up on tiptoes, she kissed him. As she drew back, Lancelot caught her hand in his.

"Your hand is shaking." He told her gently. "You feel the same, I know you do. This is the moment we've been waiting for, Gwen. The moment where we have absolutely everything to live for."

"I'm frightened." Gwen admitted, glancing down. He didn't let her stay that way for long, using his other hand to tip her chin back until she was looking him in the eye once more. Using his thumb, he brushed away the stray tear that had slipped down her cheek. "I know this place, know everyone, everything. And yet, it's as if none of that matters, as if it all melts away whenever I'm with you. I don't know if I want that, Lancelot. I know we could have a whole world to discover out there, but I'm just not ready."

Lancelot suddenly smiled at her, drawing back so that he was leaning against the wall, but still held her hand in his. When she frowned quizzically at him, his smile widened.

"You didn't say no. You just said you weren't ready. Is there hope for me yet, Guinevere?"

In her heart of hearts, Gwen knew the answer. "There is always hope for you, Sir Lancelot, Knight of Camelot." She didn't think it would be possibly to do, but his smile widened even further. Finally, he let go and ducked out of the alcove, striding off down the corridor in order to attend a training session with his prince. Gwen had no idea how he managed it.

But watching him walk away, she knew one thing. It had been years since she had last seen Lancelot before he had turned up to their rescue. So much had changed, for all of them. But being back with him now, feeling his arms around her?

It was as if they had never said goodbye.


	3. LIFEGOESON

**Next! L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N by Noah and the Whales. Please let me know what you think?**

Merlin paused outside of Arthur's door. He couldn't believe that he was having to do this, _again._ Trade his life for the prince's. Not that Arthur was aware of the first time, especially considering they were both still alive. But even so, Merlin knew the time had come for him to say goodbye. Again. How many times did that make it now? He tentatively knocked.

"Come in." Despite the commanding note infiltrating the voice, Merlin could hear the pain in it. He gently opened the door, and sure enough, Arthur was leaning back on the headboard, hand resting over the stab wound, looking pale. He opened his eyes when his servant walked in though, looking mildly surprised.

"Merlin? What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" Merlin spluttered. He didn't look that guilty did he? Whilst he knew that this was him attempting to say goodbye, he didn't want Arthur to realise what he was up to until it was too late to stop him. For he knew that was precisely what the prince would do otherwise.

"You knocked." Merlin blinked, the beginnings of a smirk making its way on his face. Trust Arthur to pick up on something like that considering he was basically dying.

"Yeah, well, like to keep you on your toes, Sire." Knowing his master as well as he did, Merlin could see the almost invisible smile on Arthur's face, only for him to shift position, wincing. The smile fell from Merlin's face, reminding him of why he had stepped through the door in the first place.

"Life goes on, you know." He muttered, moving further into the room and coming to a stop at the end of the bed. How many times had he made the damn thing, complaining about it continuously? He would love to be able to have simple things like that occupying his mind now.

"_Mer_lin, I'm dying in case you haven't noticed."

"Says who?" Merlin shot back. He had to get Arthur to realise that he was going to live through this. Sure enough, Arthur frowned up at him. 

"Gaius. You know, Court Physician and all that. He said that for all the potions and lotions money can buy, I won't be getting out of this one. Well, okay, that's not precisely what he said, but I could see it in his eyes." Merlin rolled his eyes at the prince.

"You, _Sire_, have more to you than thinking about money." Merlin broke off, glancing down. This was it. Time to make the prat realise. "Arthur, you've got a heart. It certainly over comes your common sense most of the time. I mean, pushing Lancelot out of the way of the dagger and getting hit yourself? You did realise he was wearing armour, right?"

Arthur looked suddenly tired, leaning further back and shutting his eyes with a sigh. "If you've come to tell me how much of a prat I was, Merlin, don't bother. I don't have time."

"You do, Arthur." Merlin said softly. "Your heart means you take your own route, not your father's. You have to keep that up." The prince was looking at him again, sensing his servant's tone of voice. "Life will go on, and you never know, what you don't have now you might get another chance with in the future."

What was unspoken said more than what was. The prince couldn't be with the woman he loved now, but given time, the opportunity would arise when the young lovers wouldn't have to hide what they were feeling. "Just... stay true to your heart, Arthur. Follow only your path."

Suddenly feeling slightly overwhelmed, Merlin ran from the room, leaning on the wall outside the prince's chambers. He could sense Arthur's incredulous look almost burning through the door. Merlin knew why though. This was not the first time he had spouted something like this, and ironically it seemed to be when one or both of them were about to die. Merlin had lost count of the amount of times he had delivered a last speech to Arthur.

Pushing himself away from the wall, he walked slowly down the corridor, watching the sun begin to set. Its progression changed with every window the warlock passed, and Merlin sighed. It was his last night on earth. Again. Last time, he had turned his head to the heavens and hoped that everything was going to work out okay. But this time, Merlin mused, finally reaching his chambers and opening the small window, this time he was just going to breathe. Take in the night air, let it flood his senses and make him feel alive. There was no point worrying, he had done this before, he knew it would save Arthur. And, considering his track record, the chances were that he would end up staying alive anyway. But if he didn't...

Merlin took another breath, and smiled. If he didn't, it was almost like it wouldn't matter. Not that he wanted to die, but that he knew it would be worth it. He had paid a high price to make sure that his destiny was fulfilled, and even if he did live through this, Merlin knew what he had been prepared to pay. Arthur would make a great King one day, and if Merlin could claim any credit in that, even if it was keeping the prat alive for long enough for him to do so, then it would be worth it.

Despite his initial hating of the man he had come to serve, Merlin had no regrets about what he was about to do. He was done with everything. He was ready to fulfil his destiny. And by doing so, he knew that Arthur would have the chance he needed. Life would go on.


	4. I'm not wearing any underwear today

**Finally, a more light-hearted one. Based on Avenue Q's song, "I'm not wearing any underwear today." **

When there was a tentative knock on the door and Gwen poked her head around with _that_ look on her face, Merlin sighed, knowing precisely what was about to come. At least three times a week he was sent to recover one of Camelot's newest Knights. Gwaine had somehow decided that a Knight should have a presence amongst the people – something Arthur couldn't technically disagree with. But somehow, the acting Regent's idea of making himself visible to the people, and his Knight's ideas were completely different. Hence why it was left to the faithful manservant to once again go tramping through the Lower Town with the job of locating the man.

How on earth Gwen always knew where Gwaine was, Merlin had no idea. He supposed it was something to do with Elyan, and the fact Gwaine had managed to pull the younger man into his nights out more than once. All Merlin knew was that he was leaving the warmth and comfort of Gaius' chambers after a hard day running around after his Royal Pratness – coupled with saving his life at least twice in the process – and was now having to brave the wind and rain to go and find Gwaine. He was going to kill him when he found him.

It came as no surprise to anyone that Merlin's face split into a broad grin when he finally caught sight of his wayward friend. Merlin could never find it in his heart to be angry with Gwaine, with any of them. And when the man positively beamed at him from across the room, beckoning for Merlin to come over through rather extravagant gestures with the jug of ale he had in his hand, the manservant shook his head fondly, but moved across all the same. Mainly because Gwaine's flamboyant gestures had him spilling more of the ale over himself, and Merlin had no desire for him to realise and try and order another. Now that Gwaine was a Knight, even Arthur couldn't make him help Merlin with polishing the entire army's boots. Meaning Merlin was often left to do it on his own whilst Gwaine slept off the hangover. Another jug would mean at least another three pairs of boots, and Merlin had no desire to stay away from Arthur that long, it was more than adequate time for the clotpole to get himself killed.

"What are you doing, Gwaine?" Finally reaching the man, Merlin paused, hands on hips and a look of bemusement on his face.

"Merlin!" Gwaine cried, trying to navigate himself into a more upright position, only to slip and bang his elbow on the closest table. "Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, my oldest and bestest friend." Merlin was just glad that Gwaine no longer considered him his only friend, that he had found a comradeship amongst the other new Knights.

"Yes, Gwaine?" Merlin replied patiently, knowing by the look on Gwaine's face that he was about to tell Merlin something either extremely important – or extremely useless. Either way, Merlin had learnt the hard way not to try and move the man before he had come out with whatever was on the tip of his tongue.

"Merlin, I have an announcement to make!" To Merlin's horror, the entire tavern went silent. Merlin found the blush already beginning to work its way up his neck. He knew this wasn't going to end well. He simply raised an eyebrow in a way he knew would make Gaius proud, and waited. Gwaine didn't make him wait too long.

"I'm not wearing any underwear today!" Merlin went scarlet as an unnatural hush fell over the tavern until someone finally gave into their amusement. Shutting his eyes with a groan, Merlin pulled the pitcher out of Gwaine's hand, grabbed the man's arm and began pulling him over towards the door. Unfortunately, Gwaine wasn't finished.

"No, I'm not wearing any underwear today."

"So you've said," Merlin muttered, his ears burning.

"Not that you probably care -,"

"Got that right."

"- much about my underwear-,"

"Gwaine, shut up!" It wasn't helping that Gwaine almost seemed to be singing now. There was certainly some sort of tune to his words, and Merlin just hoped the pouring rain would bring the man to his senses a little before they got back to the castle. If the guards saw him like this and reported back to the prince, Merlin's life wouldn't be worth living, destiny or none.

"But still none the less I gotta say, that I'm not wearing any underwear today!" Gwaine's last word was nothing short out of a shout as Merlin opened the door, causing the driving weather to hit them both as he attempted to support the bigger man in the doorway. Somehow, he was sure this wasn't in his job description of servant.

"Get a job!" Someone from within the tavern, and Gwaine smirked. He managed to unhook his arm from Merlin, turned and gave a mock bow into the room.

"Why thank you, friend. But alas," He paused, sighing dramatically. "I have a job. For I am a Knight of Camelot, sworn to protect..."

Merlin grabbed Gwaine by the shoulder, pulling him out into the freezing rain and allowing his eyes to change colour subtly as the door banged behind them. Regardless of how much good it did Arthur when Gwaine decided to insult the prince, doing it in a tavern whilst drunk was not the best idea.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Draping Gwaine's arm around his shoulders and holding on tight this time, Merlin nearly buckled under the man's weight as Gwaine suddenly leaned on him a little more. Merlin was half expecting it though, he knew the Knight always lost the battle against his legs for a moment after leaving – or rather, being dragged – from the tavern. "You know Arthur is going to kill you tomorrow, don't you?"

"Oh who is scared of the princess?" Gwaine exclaimed, far too cheerfully as he staggered along.

"You do know he'll just get Percival to do it instead then." Merlin smirked as Gwaine had no comeback. Sometimes, despite being the servant amongst Knights, Merlin knew who truly had control over the group.


	5. Time After Time

**Sorry for the wait here. Next one – Time after Time by Eva Cassidy. Enjoy and please let me know what you think?**

Arthur lay back on the pillows, staring at the canopy above his bed. There was a frown on his face as he bit his lip in contemplation, his thoughts once again straying to Merlin. The sun had begun its descent, a clear sign of how much time had passed since Gaius had left him. But Arthur hadn't noticed, his mind had been going around in circles the entire time since he had been brought back. Merlin confused him! Once again, the servant had saved his life, pushing the prince out of the way of the arrow, almost sending himself rolling over the cliff, if Arthur hadn't returned the favour and grabbed onto the boy just in time. Why? Why would he constantly be putting himself in harm's way like that?

"Arthur?" Shifting slightly, Arthur hid a wince as his ribs jarred and instead glanced towards the door, just in time to see the object of his thoughts slip in. Merlin moved over to the edge of the bed, watching him critically.

"How's your shoulder?"

"Fine." Arthur made to shrug as if he could feel nothing, but prevented the action, knowing that would give away the lie. Merlin was heavier than he looked when holding up all of his weight with one hand whilst trying to use the other to stop the momentum from taking them both over the cliff.

"You shouldn't have done it, you know."

_Typical noble bloody Merlin_, Arthur thought a little bitterly. It was alright for the servant to save _his_ life, but when it came to returning the favour, all Arthur got was complaints on how he shouldn't risk himself.

"Saves the trouble of finding a new servant." He responded casually. "Surely no one can be as incompetent as you?" That finally got the smile he was after, but Arthur still frowned. Eventually, when nothing more was said, he sighed, glancing at his servant in exasperation.

"What is it, Merlin?"

"Nothing."

"It's something, tell me." To most people, that would have sounded like an order. But Merlin knew him better than that, he knew it was Arthur's way of showing he cared, and that he had noticed something was troubling his friend.

"You know I'll always be here, right?"

"Well, apparently, even throwing you over a cliff doesn't allow me to get rid of you." Arthur said flippantly, a teasing smile playing across his lips. "Merlin, what is this?"

"I just want you to know..." Merlin broke off, and Arthur sat up a little more, frowning. Merlin had that tone of voice again, the one where he was about to spout something deep, meaningful and almost _wise_. The prince stayed quiet this time, wondering what was about to come.

"If you are ever lost, you can look and you will find me." Arthur blinked. "I'm going to be here, no matter what. If you ever fall -,"

"I thought that was _your_ job, _Mer_lin."

"-, I will catch you, I'll be waiting."

By now, Arthur was sitting bolt upright. He knew precisely where Merlin was going with this, for it was the same feelings he had himself. For some reason, he couldn't stand the thought of the loyal fool getting into trouble, and had vowed to himself that no matter what happened, it was his duty to protect the younger man. But now, now it was Arthur's time.

"I know you think I go to fast, Merlin, that I walk too far ahead. It's like you're calling to me, but I can't hear what you've said." Arthur didn't just mean what literally came out of their mouths. He took his father's command and he turned it into action, running straight into trouble whilst completely ignoring the warnings that Merlin always came out with. Merlin tried to talk sense into him, and Arthur didn't listen. "I can't go slow, Merlin, I just...I fall behind."

Merlin was smiling now, knowing that Arthur understood what he was getting at.

"Maybe if you weren't such a prat, you'd learn to listen. But I know you, Arthur. I know you sit there and wonder if I'm okay. But trust me; I'll be here, time after time."

As if suddenly feeling self-conscious of his little speech, Merlin turned to go. But Arthur wasn't having any of it. His servant wasn't going to come in here, spout some meaningful nonsense and leave again. Instead, the prince just threw a pillow at the back of his head, forcing Merlin to stop and listen.

"It works both ways, you know. I'll be here for you too. I'll stop you from getting bloody lost in the first place, and as for falling off things, I would say I'd catch you, but you only moan at me when I do, so maybe I won't." Merlin's smile spread, and Arthur automatically found himself grinning back. There was a level of understanding between them.

Both knew they would risk their lives for the other, not just once, not even twice, but time after time. They were going to unite the land of Albion, together, and for that to happen, both prince and warlock knew they had to be there for each other. Not just Merlin protecting Arthur, but Arthur also protecting Merlin.

"Time after time?" Arthur asked softly, eyes echoing an unspoken promise.

"Time after time." Merlin confirmed, dipping his head slightly before beginning to walk towards the door once more. Despite the situation, Arthur still wasn't finished.

"Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"Give me my pillow back." Merlin rolled his eyes extravagantly as he turned, plucking the cushion from the floor and throwing it back towards the bed. It came as no surprise to either of them when he missed, but Arthur merely leant over and threw it straight back.

"Sire!"

"Give me my pillow back!"

"I just did!"

Arthur suddenly smirked, and Merlin felt his heart sink slightly. He knew that look. It never ended well for him.

"What were you saying about time after time, _Mer_lin?" Arthur's eyebrows rose in amusement as Merlin sighed dramatically. He knew he was going to regret those words. "Now give me my pillow back."


	6. Gives you Hell

**Next one: Gives you hell, by All-American Rejects.**

**Is anyone else insanely excited about now?**

It was dusk when Merlin woke, a guilty smile immediately slipping onto his face. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, he had just been so exhausted from all the chores the prince had piled on him that morning. Somehow, falling asleep seemed the perfect act of defiance against the royal prat. It certainly didn't feel out of place, not even considering there was probably going to be another pile of dirty armour waiting for him when he rose. Arthur was getting more and more irritating by the day, nothing seemed to be done to his satisfaction at the moment.

Peeling himself away from the large book he had been using as a pillow, Merlin stretched, arching his back as he did so. No doubt Gaius would strongly disapprove when he found his ward had been sleeping instead of researching the latest magical threat like he was supposed to be doing, but Merlin knew the Dragon would simply give him any answers he didn't already have. Personally, he thought sleeping was a much better use of his time.

Merlin finally stood up and exited the physician's chambers, knowing that Arthur would be waiting on him. No doubt the royal would still be working. Whether it was training or pouring over old documents or filling in tax documentation, the acting Regent was certainly taking his role seriously, and would often be doing long days. Merlin knew that was why his own chores had all but doubled, yet he still couldn't help feeling irritated. Just because the blond had more to do didn't mean he needed to take it out on his servant. It left a bad taste in Merlin's mouth when he considered how rapidly their friendship was declining at the moment, their status becoming more obvious than ever.

Finally, he paused in front of Arthur's door, nudging it open without knocking as normal, his smile still on his face. He hoped Arthur could see it, hoped it would give the prince some sort of feeling of guilt when he saw that Merlin, despite everything that was being thrown his way, was still struggling through, still coping. Unlike someone else he could mention. But it ran deeper than that. In a strange way, Merlin hoped it would give Arthur hell, having someone who could be cheerful no matter what the situation.

The royal didn't acknowledge his servant's presence as Merlin walked in. He was sitting at his desk, once again pouring over some old looking map. After the warlock managed to "accidentally" knock something over loudly, he finally managed to gain Arthur's attention as he walked over. There was even a spring in his step, and Merlin hoped the way he walked over would also give Arthur hell.

He thought Arthur had been worth a damn, worth a second chance even considering everything the prince had thrown at him since day one. Despite their differences, Arthur had always treated Merlin well, respecting and encouraging his advice and judgement even if he wouldn't admit it out loud. In return, Merlin had found that he had truly wanted the young Pendragon to succeed in what he was doing, to become the Once and Future King the Dragon was constantly going on about.

But now? Now he just thought Arthur was a fool. He was blinded by his duty to the Kingdom, not seeming to realise it was that very attitude that had led Uther into such a spiral of despair. He needed to take a step back, learn how to delegate and focus on the things he was good at. Merlin knew the council had offered him help, but the fool's pride had got in the way and Arthur had tried to shoulder everything. There had been a time where Merlin had respected him for it, but now he simply despaired. How were they going to get anywhere when the only time Arthur would step out of his chambers was when he was training with his Knights?

If Merlin was honest, to himself more than anyone, he would have said that he missed _his_ Arthur, the one who always had time to throw a goblet at his servant's head when Merlin came to wake him up in the morning. But in some roundabout and confusing way, Merlin also knew that would be a lie. The Kingdom _had_ to move on, and he knew the Arthur of old would have never been able to deal with that type of pressure. He wasn't sure whether _this_ Arthur was dealing, but he was still in one piece, even with the bags under his eyes. All Merlin could do was try and remind the man what it was he had been fighting so hard to achieve all of these years.

So that was why, whenever he walked towards Arthur, smile firmly in place, he hoped that it would hurt the prince. Whenever Arthur ordered him to do something, he hoped the royal would feel guilty when Merlin almost killed himself doing it. He had to find a way to get through to him, and he just hoped that if Arthur finally took note that his servant simply wasn't crumbling under the pressure, he might realise that neither should he be.

Destiny had claimed that it was up to Merlin to turn Arthur into the Once and Future King, that only together would they be able to unite the land of Albion and bring peace to the Kingdom in a way it had not seen in a generation. The warlock knew they were striving towards that, that things were beginning to move on. But fate had never told him _how_ he was supposed to help Arthur, and at this moment in time, Merlin could only think of one way to get through to the proud young man.

He was going to fulfil his destiny by giving Arthur absolute hell.


	7. Stop! In the name of loveFree your mind

**Sorry for the delay again! I'm hoping that I'll get one out a week at least! How heartbreaking has the new series been?**

**Anyway, next song. Stop! In the name of love/Free your mind by the Glee cast.**

Arthur sighed, watching Gwen out of the corner of his eye from across the room. She was wearing her lavender dress again, bustling around as she tended to Morgana. Eventually, she dropped a curtsey towards the King and moved silently out of the room in the way only a servant could manage. Well, unless of course they were Merlin, he never managed to do anything quietly.

The prince counted to ten, before excusing himself, feigning some excuse about needing to oversee the new Knights training, and all but fled from the room after her. Luckily, Uther had witnessed a rather shocking performance from the Knights the day before, and believed Arthur's excuse.

"Guinevere." His soft voice called down the corridors, his tone low and quiet in order to keep attention at the minimum as he hurried after her. Gwen stopped, her lips turning up in the corners before she dropped another curtsey. Arthur reached her, and used one finger to tip back her chin until she was standing upright again.

"You shouldn't do that."

"It is my place, Sire." Arthur sighed. This was killing him. He wanted to be able to shout his love from the castle torrents, make a declaration of love in front of the Kingdom. But he knew the price of doing that.

"Please don't."

"But, My Lord..."

Arthur grasped her arm lightly, drawing her into an enclosed alcove and kissing her lightly. Gwen blushed, and made to pull away, knowing they could get caught. Before she could move, however, Arthur spoke.

"Please stop. In the name of love, stop. You're going to break my heart like this."

"I highly doubt that, Arthur Pendragon." But Gwen stopped attempting to move away, and instead moved closer to him, letting her hand rest on his chest.

"This is going to break my heart, Gwen. I only see you once or twice each week. You smile, your eyes...it's such a sweet expression. You are worth more than my love and affection, but it is all that I can give you. Please, stop trying to be the servant and just accept it."

"Sire, I am the servant." Gwen responded quietly. She knew how hard it was for him to understand how careful they had to be. Oh, she was more than aware that he knew what would happen to them, to _her_ if anyone should find out about their love. But he was the prince, used to getting his own way. It wasn't as if she was trying to deny him, but for both of their sakes, she had to. One day, things would be different, but that day was not now.

"No..."

"Arthur, you must see me for who I am. I know you wish I wasn't a servant so we could be together..."

"That's not..."

"But you must look past that. I am a servant, and that will not change, not until you are king. It is who I am. You say you need me, but you first have to see me for who I am."

"Guinevere, I see you for who you are. But this is breaking my heart. I'm not just saying that, I need you...please, think it over at least..."

"Arthur, stop." There was a slightly commanding tone in her voice this time as Gwen leant back from his gentle kiss. If they were to have a future together, Arthur had to open his mind. There could be no denying he already was, the fact that he would even allow himself to not only fall in love with a serving girl, but to acknowledge and admit those feelings? But he wasn't ready yet.

"You have to free your mind," she continued softly, cupping his face with one hand, allowing her thumb to brush across his cheek as she gazed into his eyes. He was so wrong if he believed he was the only one that was hurting from this.

"The rest will follow in time, when you are King. Just please, free your mind, don't be so shallow as to think that this is now or never. I will wait for you, my prince. When you are King, things will be different. But you must look at the bigger picture. And in the name of love, stop following me out of council sessions. Go on, get back in there."

This time, she did manage to slip away from him, moving swiftly but casually down the corridor. Arthur watched her walk away, his eyes full of longing as he watched her go. He knew deep down that she was right, that things would be different one day, but that it could not be now. But it was still taking every ounce of his years of training to gain an iron self control that meant he was able to turn and walk back into the council chambers with his head held high.

As soon as she felt his gaze slip from her, Gwen stopped herself. Instead, she turned and gazed with longing at the door, shielding her love from her view. She meant every word she said to him. Arthur had to know that he couldn't control everything, no matter how much he might wish too. But it didn't mean that it was any easier for her to say it than for him to hear it.

She just hoped that one day soon, things would move on. For having to pretend, having to stop and deny love every time someone came along – unless it was Merlin – was breaking both of their hearts.


	8. Truth

**Next one: Truth by Spandau Ballet.**

The ride back from the Isle of the Blessed had been a quiet and uncomfortable one. What was to be said? Gaius had been prepared to die for Merlin, and the warlock had been prepared to kill for his mentor. Both were weary and unsure what there was to say to one another, not helped when Gaius had caught sight of the burn on his ward's chest. But eventually they had made it back, Merlin sheepishly returning the horse he had all but stolen on his mad dash out of Camelot. He hadn't even looked, just grabbed the first one he had seen. Luckily, they hadn't been gone for that long considering all that had taken place, and the animal didn't seem to have been missed.

But now, Merlin found himself hovering outside of Arthur's door, wondering what on earth he was supposed to say to the prince. They had both been painfully aware that Merlin had been trying to say goodbye the last time he had entered these chambers, and yet barely a day later, he was walking back through those same doors.

Part of him wanted to tell Arthur. It was the moment he had dreamt of from the moment he had stepped into Camelot. For someone other than his guardian to know who – and what – he was and accept him for it. He wanted the truth to be known, for his dream to be realised. But at the same time, he knew that timing was a funny thing, everything had to be right in order for this to work. Yet this was not the time. Arthur was not ready. Merlin wasn't sure whether he felt the young royal wasn't ready to accept the truth, or not ready to be forced to choose between his father and his servant. Ever the protector, Merlin didn't want to put him in that situation.

He had tried to buy his way out of this life, he couldn't overlook that. He had bartered for Arthur's life; prepared to move on with the knowledge the prince was safe. He had fully intended to not have returned from the Isle of the Blessed the first time, let alone the second. He had truly been saying goodbye to the prat he had come to consider to be his friend. Yet he had returned. Just when he had thought he had thrown everything away, even if it was for a good cause, he now found himself once again outside a very familiar set of doors.

It was so hard to try and think of what needed to be said next. What could he say? Reveal who he truly was and hope that the situation meant that Arthur would overlook said illegality of his existence? Or come up with some new lie that made him out to be nothing more than a bumbling idiot and pretend events had not unfolded in the way they had? Arthur would go back to treating him as if he was nothing more than a nuisance, denying any bonds of friendship that they both knew existed. Either way, Merlin knew that he could potentially end up losing, no matter which route he decided to take. Somehow, Merlin wasn't sure what would be worse, but he knew what he needed to do.

He wanted the truth to be said. To be able to come clean once and for all, no more lying, no more hiding. It was as if something was humming inside of him, begging him to tell the prince once and for all who he really was, who they both were. As he tried to block out the rationality coming from his mind, he knew it was the sound of his soul speaking to him. To lie to Arthur, to deny who he was and what he was prepared to do to keep the man safe was crushing down on him, almost smothering him more than Nimueh's fireball had ever managed to do.

Merlin was magic. Magic was him. His soul was singing out for all to hear it, and very slowly, his hand raised, preparing to knock on Arthur's door in the hope that he could at least beginning the conversation in an appropriate manner. He wanted the truth to be told, for everyone to know...

But just as slowly, his hand lowered again. He had already told himself that Arthur wasn't ready, Gaius had driven home more than once that no one could know what had truly happened, no one could know about his gifts. He had said that the time would come, but Merlin couldn't help but feel as if the sands of time were running through his fingers, trickling away from him every second he delayed. If he didn't do it now, would he ever pluck up the courage in order to do so? Indecision tore at him, and before the warlock knew what he had done, he had practically fallen over his own feet as he burst into the prince's chambers.

Sure enough, Arthur looked less than pleased at the dramatic entrance of his servant. Especially as said servant had made it quite clear that something was going on, and then proceeded to disappear for an entire day along with the Court Physician, no explanation, no reason. He had heard a rumour that the boy's mother was sick, but that she had made it here to Camelot. Maybe they had gone for supplies or something like that; it was the only thing that Arthur could think of. When Merlin just continued to study his feet, almost looking as if he wondered how he got in here, Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Well?"

Merlin knew this was it. The big moment. Did he tell Arthur and hope to live to see another dawn. Or did he come up with some excuse.

"I want you to know the truth," he muttered quietly. Even as Arthur looked at him expectantly, Merlin still had no idea what was about to come out of his mouth. Once again, it was left to the warlock's instincts to decide whether Arthur should know or not, and hopefully guide him in the right direction.


	9. That Man

**Next up: That man by Caro Emerald. Okay, this is definitely not what I have written before, it's good to try new ways, right? Set after 2x03, but not much later than that. In other words, Morgana is still mainly good! **

**Enjoy and let me know what you think?**

Morgana sat at her dressing table, staring into the mirror and trying to work out what she was thinking. She had dismissed Gwen early after dinner with the King and the prince. That was what had brought on the turmoil of emotions anyway. _He_ had been there. Clearly sharing some sort of joke with Arthur as the two of them kept trading amused looks every time he moved forward to do something, and she was sure the King hadn't noticed when Arthur had kicked his servant and got elbowed back in retaliation.

She had never considered the arrogant bully of a prince would disappear when Merlin had arrived, but the man she considered to be like a brother wasn't the only one to have had their lives altered by the lanky youth. He had risked everything for her, helping her find the Druids, not turning her in the second she had confessed having magic. She had run straight to Gaius with her fears, believing the old man would be the one to rescue her from the nightmare like normal. But this was no dream, this was her reality. She has magic.

But the old doctor had done nothing, instead claiming that she was just distressed. She had felt so lost and alone, not even having the courage to tell Gwen precisely why she believed she woke the loyal maid up with her screams nearly every night. She had been lost and alone, and then had come the small knock on the door. Merlin had come to find her, come to tell her that she was not alone and that there were those out there who would help her.

He had even come to find her again when Arthur had been sent out after her. She couldn't blame the prince, he had very little choice but to do as his father ordered, especially if he too was believing in the kidnapping story. But Merlin had appeared out of the darkness with his warnings that no doubt helped save many lives.

She found herself drawn to him like a moth to a flame. The King's ward was almost convinced that was not the first time the young servant had helped save them all, always standing in Arthur's shadow at the side. But he wasn't in the shadows for Morgana, instead burning brightly. She couldn't deny that she was drawn to him, his carefree ways, those eyes that betrayed the emotions he was feeling within. The only problem was, Morgana was sure that Merlin was playing her. Why else would he personally come to make sure she was okay when they had returned to Camelot, why else would he send her a small smile across the room, grounding and reassuring as Uther sentenced yet another person to death?

Being the King's ward, Morgana was used to getting her own way. She managed it even more than Arthur, having the courage to stand up to the King and making him bend to her – slightly manipulative –ways. But in this case, she knew that she couldn't win. How was she supposed to come out and admit that she was drawn to Arthur's servant? It was laughable. In this occasion, she couldn't win. She couldn't have the one thing that she wanted more than anything.

And yet, even though she knew it could never be, Morgana felt like she was almost on a mission. She was finding excuses to go and see Gaius personally rather than sending Gwen just in case he happened to be there. Most of the time, it was in vain, Arthur had him running all over the castle at all hours of the day. But it didn't stop her floating around almost aimlessly trying to see if she could see him whilst making it look like an accident. It felt wrong, mainly because she knew that she was deluding herself. Merlin cared for everyone, it was just who he was.

That didn't stop her wanting to love him though. She wanted to be able to go to him with everything, be able to pour her heart and soul into the man who had risked absolutely everything to help her. She knew that Uther and especially Arthur cared for her, and would quite happily ride into deadly situations to try and save her. But Merlin had risked absolutely _everything_, he had been prepared to give up everything and betray the King in doing so to get her the help she needed. Maybe she wasn't the only one in this whole Kingdom who believed that magic could be used for good? Could she have possibly found someone who truly understood in the form of a lanky servant who was at the beck and call of the man she considered to be like a brother?

She truly wanted to love him. Hell, she even wanted to kiss him, and that was why Morgana was staring at herself in the mirror, wondering what was happening to her. She could have the pick of any man in the Kingdom, and those beyond Camelot's borders. She was Uther Pendragon's ward, she could almost do anything she wanted. Anything but the one thing she desired above anything else. She knew she had defied her guardian in the past, she had even tried to take his life.

But this truly felt like a sin. Not because she loved Merlin, but because she couldn't have him. Morgana was not used to having something denied to her, and for the first time in as long as she could remember, the Lady Morgana couldn't win.


	10. Count on Me

**Next one: Count on Me by Bruno Mars. This one is actually a little different, it doesn't follow the lyrics as much as the others do but it just took on a life of its own and the message of the song is still the same message as this (hopefully!). Enjoy!**

Gwaine tossed irritably from where he was sprawled on the hard ground, eventually kicking his blankets off completely and rising unsteadily to his feet. Stumbling over to the fire, the Knight decided that he needed a drink. The moon was high, bathing the clearing in a soft light and showing the evidence of the men sprawled everywhere.

"Can't sleep?" But whilst the majority of the men were asleep, Gwaine wasn't the only one still up. Now that his vision had cleared slightly, he caught sight of the figures sprawled around the fire. Percival was leaning against a log, Elyan sprawled across the ground, but very much awake. Lancelot and Leon were on the other side, cups cradled in their hands. Both of their eyes simultaneously flickered up to greet him before returning to staring into the fireplace.

But that wasn't all. Arthur was sitting on another log next to them, Merlin sprawled at his feet. The servant was the only one who was asleep, using Arthur's boot as a pillow. Gwaine wasn't surprised. The nobles they were on this damn hunting trip with had taken to ordering the boy about. Although Arthur's jaw had clenched, his eyes had given away that there was nothing any one of them could do without making it worse for Merlin.

"I'll sing you a lullaby if you want." Gwaine muttered, throwing himself down besides Elyan, an impish grin lighting up his face as Lancelot silently handed him another cup.

"I thought you cared about Merlin. You do that and you'll wake him up and have the whole area running for cover."

"Very funny." Maybe it was because he was the first one he had met when he had returned to Camelot, but Gwaine had found a firm friend in Elyan, a man who was quick with both his hands and his mind when he needed to be. He was the calming influence on the rash man's behaviour.

"Sire, when are we..?"

"Heading back? Hopefully tomorrow, Leon. This hunt has gone on long enough, Mer- we all need some rest."

"Admitting how much he means to you then, princess?" Gwaine mocked. He knew that Merlin saw Arthur as a firm friend, and although Arthur wouldn't have admitted it out loud, the feeling was mutual. It was the slip of the tongue on sentences like that which reminded them all of how their prince really felt.

"Shut up."

"He did well out there today." Leon muttered, glancing down at the sleeping boy. As he watched, Merlin seemed to shiver slightly in the night air, and before he knew what he was doing, the older man had drawn off his cloak and laid it over the boy.

"You can always count on Merlin to save the day." Lancelot said quietly, a small secret smile crossing his lips. He had been the only one to see how much Merlin had been helping when the party had been set upon by bandits, but was glad the others were at least respecting that he wasn't a waste of space. The fact Arthur hadn't said anything to the contrary showed he too was feeling the same way.

"He's always there." The prince eventually admitted, he too glancing down at their sleeping companion, resisting the urge to shake his foot to get the blood flowing again. He had meant what he said, Merlin needed the rest.

"But he knows that when he needs it, we are right here, doesn't he?" For once, the confident note in Gwaine's voice had vanished as he stared down at Merlin. No one answered, for no one was quite sure. They all took Merlin's presence for granted; knowing that he would run straight into danger for any of them if he thought it would help. Or if he just didn't think at all. But did he know they would do the same for him?

"I...he knows." Arthur finally said softly, following Gwaine's glance and gazing at his sleeping servant. He was sure Merlin knew it, and if he didn't, then he was an even bigger idiot than his master regularly told him. He had proved enough that he wasn't going to let Merlin get hurt, and especially wasn't going to let him get _himself_ hurt through some noble intention of helping one of the others.

The fact that he was sitting with a group of Knights, ones he himself had knighted in the middle of the night around a dying fire even discussing this showed how much Merlin had been the one to bring the men together. Arthur knew who their loyalty was with first and foremost, especially Gwaine and Lancelot. And whilst none of them would admit it, he knew they had no intention of getting any sleep themselves. It wasn't uncommon for a noble to call upon a servant in the middle of the night, and Merlin needed his rest. They would sit up all night in order to make sure he got it. Arthur had given the others protection through their new status. The least he could do was try and help his servant.

"Arthur?"

"What, Gwaine?" He didn't mean to snap, but Arthur couldn't help but feel guilty. He said that Merlin knew they were there for him, but what if that wasn't the case? What if the lanky servant didn't realise?

"Why are you pulling a pained expression?" Arthur felt his grimace grow now that the man had noticed. He had hoped to be able to get away with it.

"I can't feel my foot," he eventually muttered, causing Gwaine to smirk and Lancelot to wince sympathetically. Bending down, the once banished Knight of Camelot slowly slipped an arm around Merlin's chest, lifting him for long enough for Arthur to move said foot out of the way. Merlin whimpered slightly in his sleep, shifting irritably, but before he could even think of waking up, he was gently lowered again, a scrunched up cloak under his head as well as the one covering him.

Silence fell once more over the group. One by one, they drifted off to sleep. All apart from Arthur. He counted on his servant way too much than he ever gave Merlin credit for. The least he could do was make sure the man knew he could count on Arthur in return.

**Reviews?**


	11. The Truth or Something Beautiful

**Sorry for the delay, life ran away from me a little bit! :) Next one: The Truth or Something Beautiful by Paloma Faith.**

Merlin stood frozen. Arthur had asked him outright whether he had magic. Now was the time... but was the prince ready? Merlin was happy to deceive him, he truly was. It meant keeping Arthur safe, happy. If he lied, the prince had no decision to make, no ultimatum – his friend or his father? Servant or King?

"Close your eyes." The servant whispered, waiting until his master had – for once- obeyed. Flexing out his hand, Merlin let the flame spark into life in his palm, beautiful, harmless... and magical. Could he do it? All he had to do was to tell Arthur to open his eyes again, that was all it took. He wouldn't even have to utter the words, all would be revealed with just one simple action.

But did Arthur want the truth? Yes, he had asked, but that didn't mean that he was prepared to listen to the answer. If he knew, Merlin could be exactly who Arthur needed him to be – his servant, his friend, his protector... and there would be no more lies, no more deceit. Even if he could become who Arthur needed him to be, was it really who Arthur _wanted_ him to be. Did the prince know that he was risking changing absolutely everything by asking that one simple question? Did he already know the answer, is that why he was prepared to risk everything? It had all come as a bit of a rush, Merlin hadn't been expecting the prince to ask so bluntly. It should have been an easy question, a simple yes or no.

It was so much more than that. Arthur could either have the truth... or have the simplicity of their friendship. There was almost something beautiful about their relationship, both prince and servant overstepping what duty dictated of them to admit that they were friends, and that they were prepared to die for one another. Arthur had proven that he would lay down his life for anyone, but Merlin knew that it had taken a lot for him to go against his father and risk everything to save Merlin's life all those years ago.

He could just get him to make believe now. Show him something stupid, like placing Arthur's own goblet in his hand and making a joke out of the whole thing. Deceit was coming too easy to Merlin these days, he knew it, as did Gaius. Or he could leave the flame flickering in his palm, waiting to see what Arthur's reaction was going to be. It would be so easy to pretend though, once again deny that there was anything different about him other than being prepared to tell his master precisely what he thought of him. The lies were not meant to be hurtful, they were meant to soothe. Arthur hadn't been ready before this. He hadn't been ready to know about his servant, he wouldn't have been able to make the decision with a clear head. And despite his arrogance, Arthur's confidence in his abilities was worryingly low, especially when it came to dealing with his father. By letting him think that it was him who had dealt with those threats for all of those years, it had turned the cocky prince into a confident leader.

That was why Merlin was happy to deceive, for he knew it was protecting his friend. But now... now he didn't know what to do. He had been scared to speak the honest truth, he knew that he couldn't pretend it was all for Arthur's sake. The warlock had been scared, afraid of the rejection and betrayal that he could potentially see in Arthur's eyes. When the time for revelation came, Merlin was sure that he would be the one that would start it, or that Arthur would catch him out when it came to saving the blond's life again.

He certainly hadn't expected Arthur to outright ask him. Merlin knew he had been playing the game ever since he had stepped foot in Camelot, being able to blame coincidences and good luck on the miraculous escapes and victories they had achieved. Fate had decided time and time again that their time was up, and each time destiny had stepped in and refused.

But neither fate nor destiny could step in now. Was Merlin brave enough to tell Arthur, or was he too worried about protecting the man. Not just from the threats, but from the truth. Was Arthur ready? Did he really want the truth, or would he prefer to keep things simple, have something as beautiful as their friendship instead? Why was it always down to the warlock to decide what was best for the future monarch?

_Damn __Arthur __and __his __questions. _The warlock thought bitterly, his heart racing hard as he stared at the man in front of him, trying to work out what it was that Arthur needed to hear. Why did it have to be that question he asked when Merlin had told him that he could ask anything. Why had they snuck the wine from the cellars anyway? Who had decided that playing this game would be such a good idea? Merlin knew everything there was to know about Arthur, was sure that nothing the prince came out with would be able to touch him, even shock him. And then Arthur had gone and asked about the magic.

Still not knowing what to do, Merlin closed his own eyes. Maybe it was up to fate. Either the flame would go out if his magic wanted to protect him, protect them both, by shielding Arthur from the truth that little bit longer. Or it would continue burning, Merlin had no idea which...

"Open your eyes." He whispered, keeping his own firmly shut so he didn't have to see what his own magic did.


	12. Dancing through Life

**Next one: Dancing through Life from the musical Wicked. And yes, I now have a singing Gwaine in my head, it's a worrying image! Enjoy!**

Gwaine looked around him, taking in the sights of Camelot. He never thought that he would be here, even after hearing stories about it for his entire life. But now, limping through the town and gazing around him with wide eyes, he couldn't help but grin.

He finally caught sight of Merlin weaving his way through the crowds, clearly working. So far in his short stay, Gwaine had discovered that his "rescuers" were none other than the Prince of Camelot himself and his servant. Merlin apparently also helped Gaius out, meaning Gwaine knew that he was one of those types that never stopped working.

Throwing his arm casually around his new friend's shoulders, Gwaine smirked.

"Soooo," he drawled, "what's the most swankified place in town?" He asked calmly. Merlin looked at him and grinned innocently, not seeming to notice that he was letting himself in for trouble by answering.

"That would be the Rising Sun."

"Sounds perfect!" Gwaine cried, prising the basket Merlin was carrying out of his arms and throwing it at a random stranger. Both the stranger and Merlin looked like they were going to protest, but Gwaine didn't give them a chance. Tightening his grip around Merlin's shoulder, he began to steer him further into the town. He had no idea where he was going, but considering he hadn't walked past a tavern yet, he knew that it had to be in that general direction.

"We'll meet everyone -," not that he yet knew anyone else, but considering Merlin's easy going nature that meant the man must have lots of friends -,"later tonight. We'll drink there until it's light. Find the prettiest girl, give her a whirl."

"I really don't think... I mean, Gaius is expecting me back, Arthur has chores for me to do..." Merlin's protests fell on deaf ears, and there was something about Gwaine's laid back attitude that meant he found himself grinning anyway. Despite the fact that his conscious was screaming at him and telling him this was a bad idea, he let himself be steered along.

"Don't think so hard, mate. Life's less painless, for the brainless..."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Even so, Merlin was slowly relaxing, Gwaine's infectious attitude meaning that he stopped thinking about the fact that the prince wanted his armour polished.

"No need to tough it when you can sluff it off as I do..."

"You know, I'm really beginning to believe that." Although Merlin didn't know Gwaine at all well – the man had been unconscious for half of his time in Camelot so far – he had a feeling this was the type of person that no one could touch. Everything seemed to simply bounce off him, and in a way, Merlin was envious. He knew, for once with no help from his powers whatsoever, that the two of them could potentially be great friends.

"Those who don't try, never look foolish..."

"Try telling that to Arthur. Oh, we're here, this is it..." Interrupting Gwaine's random speeches, Merlin ducked out from under the arm that was still slung across his shoulder, pulling the man towards a familiar looking tavern. Despite what the prince may believe, Merlin barely ever had been in, duties and destiny alike keeping him preoccupied.

"Woes are fleeting, blows are glancing..."

"I don't think your leg will agree to that," the warlock muttered, glancing down to where he knew the bandage was tied. The man was lucky; if they had been further away from Camelot he might not be so fortunate. The blow to his head as he had fallen was only superficial, but Merlin knew Gaius well enough to know it was a deep wound on his leg.

"When you're dancing through life!" Nudging open the door, Merlin paused to let Gwaine in first. The man's face split into a grin as he looked around him, and for the first time, Merlin wondered whether showing him where the tavern was located may have perhaps been a bad idea.

"Look, I've got to go to work, Arthur will kill me if he thinks that I've been here again. Just... can you get back to Gaius' later?"

"Don't you want to have a drink?" Gwaine looked so confused that Merlin smirked, shaking his head as he did so.

"Just, I don't know, save one for me."

"I'll be waiting. All night."

"Yeah, right. Gwaine, I've really got to go. Don't get into any fights, don't drink too much and make sure that Arthur doesn't find out that you are here, not sure he would appreciate that."

Ducking out of the door quickly, Merlin took off back through the town, already hearing a loud roar of laughter coming from the tavern. No doubt Gwaine was continuing spreading his motto about life. It must be nice to be that relaxed, not have to worry about prince's, duties or destinies.

But little did he know that he would receive a knock on his door later that night from a bemused looking Gwen. There was no way he knew Gwaine well enough yet to understand that every warning he had just given the man was about to backfire quite spectacularly, and that the servant was about to discover just how many pairs of boots the army owned.

For now, however, Merlin was putting on an expression of indifference, of apparent cheerfulness. Gwaine wasn't the only one that could appear to brush things off, and even knowing that Morgana was potentially plotting to kill them all, Merlin still found himself outside of Arthur's chambers with a smile on his face.

After all, what else could he do apart from dance through life?


	13. Tainted Love

**This turned out way more angsty than I intended, but oh well. Next one: Tainted Love by Soft Cell.**

Lancelot paused, fist raised to knock but unable to bring himself to do so. There had been a time when he had run straight to Gwen whenever he needed her. The very first time he was in Camelot, she had been the one he had gone too when he realised that he had to ride out after the then-prince to stop him being killed by the Griffin. But now, he wanted to run away, not have to deliver some message.

He knew that they shared something. Even Merlin had seen it when they had turned up to help rescue Gwen after her mistaken kidnapping. He had seen almost instantly the way Lancelot had watched her, and he in turn had seen the same looks coming from Arthur. It drove something straight into his heart, something painful. But he had made up his decision. Yes, they did seem to share something, but it was clear that it could go nowhere. Not when the lady in question had a budding romance with the future king of Camelot.

Ever since his return from banishment after defeating Morgana, he knew that the buds had blossomed into something more and most of the Kingdom knew of the relationship between Arthur and Gwen. He ought to pack his things and go, get out of the Kingdom once and for all. It would be so easy to start again, he had been doing it for his whole life.

But as the door creaked open in front of him and _she_ was suddenly there, smiling at him in welcome as if she knew that he was only there for a message. She wanted nothing more from him. Gwen knew that they couldn't be together now, and Lancelot was fully aware that she didn't even think of him in that way anymore. She had moved on with her life when he was banished. He just hated the way he couldn't do the same. For things to be right for her, she had to have someone who would be able to hold her, protect her. Now as a Knight, perhaps he could do that. He could certainly offer her more than he could when he was nothing more than a commoner. But why would she choose a Knight over a King? She could set her sights higher, and Arthur was allowing it to happen.

"Lancelot." The smile, the way she greeted him. Lancelot couldn't help but wonder whether Gwen was aware of how much that killed him. Everyone commented on her sweet nature, but to the Knight, she was cruel. Cruel as anyone could be as she stretched out a hand to lay it on his arm in concern. "Is everything alright?"

He hadn't yet spoken. He couldn't speak, just feeling the breath catch in his throat as he jerked back to stop her touching. He loved her so much. Which naturally meant that her touch was agony. Knowing she meant it as nothing more than a gesture of friendship, concerned about a man that was part of her life, just not in the way that he wanted. Her touch was a tease, a painful reminder that she saw him as nothing more than a friend. True, it couldn't be denied that the smile on her face when she saw him was genuine, or that she did seem to value his company. But Gwen saw him as no more than she saw the other knights, even Merlin. Arthur was the one who had her heart, and nothing Lancelot could do was going to change that.

He had tried to give her everything. Subtly, of course. He certainly didn't want Arthur knowing what he was up to. Promises fell quickly from his lips to her, he would grant her anything. He had even made it quite apparent that he would die for her. But Gwen wanted nothing from him, she needed nothing from him. He had come back into her life when things couldn't have been better for the once maid. No comfort after a hard day's work was needed. They had both risen in their stations thanks to Arthur, and her heart had risen with it. Why look twice at a once commoner when she could receive the attentions of a once prince?

Lancelot knew he was being unfair, that Gwen didn't think like that. But he had cried for her, wept even when he realised that all of his holding on for the feelings he had for her, even after all this time, were to be in vain. He loved her truly and deeply, there could be no doubt about that. But it was a tainted love, one that was not returned. It couldn't go anywhere; it couldn't ever be acted upon.

So instead he just smiled tersely at her question, trying to force his body to relax so she couldn't see how tense he was. She couldn't know how much she was killing him, and if there was one thing that Lancelot had vowed to himself, it was never to hurt her. So the Knight delivered his message, smiled in farewell and left.

Once again nursing a broken heart. The pain never went away, it just got worse with each and every smile. It was a tainted love indeed for it was only formed on pain and longing nowadays, the inability to let go.


	14. Fairytale

**Next one: Fairytale by Alexander Rybak. This was probably the hardest one I've written yet, but done as a special request. It's not Alice he is thinking about! Technically it's based on one of my OC's, but who knows, maybe Gaius was a catch back in his day? ;)**

Gaius watched Merlin bustle about, smiling slightly in the memories of having that much energy. There had been a time, years and years ago. When he was so much younger than he was now, thought that the world was still waiting for him.

But it hadn't just been the world that was waiting for him. His childhood sweetheart had as well. He had liked her from the first moment they had met, and judging by the sideways glances she kept giving him whenever her father was looking the other way, she liked him back. It was so long ago, but was still as true as love could be. They may have been young and foolish, but they both knew how they felt.

It was their emotions that made the relationship so interesting. They had different views; they saw things in different ways. By day, they used to fight, argue over trivial things that Gaius couldn't even remember. But by night, it was as if all of their problems suddenly fell away and they once again found themselves in love. All the arguments didn't seem to matter when the moon rise and they stared at each other from across the room, wondering what they were doing.

Gaius still wonders what he was doing. Everything had been so perfect, she was his fairytale. He had almost lost his mind to her because of the strength of his emotions. Love could be a curse, he had no idea how he was supposed to fight it. But one day, he seemed to lose that fight. They suddenly fell apart, no explanation, no real reason. He didn't know what he had been doing on the day she turned up to inform him that she was marrying some lord.

Gaius can't remember his reaction, he had blanked it out. He knew deep down that they would have never worked, days of fighting was no way to live a life, even if the nights made up for it. No one else had managed to lift him as high as she did, sending his spirits soaring in a way that he could now only dream about. That passion, that energy had long since fallen victim to the ravages of time, and yet he still found part of him longing for those days. But whilst no one could lift him as high as she had been able to, no one else could bring him down as much.

She was the only one that could make him beyond sad. Even now, she was still his fairytale, the princess that he could never save in time, the one that he could never rescue. After all of these years, he thought that it would ease, but it could still hurt as much now as it did then. How did he manage to let her go so spectacularly? Why did he not fight for her, she had been his? But deep down, Gaius knew that they could never be. And even after she had left him, he had still found Alice. He had found love again, but nothing could match the rollercoaster of emotions that she had left him with. How could one person be lifted so high and then dropped to the depths of sadness through the actions of one person?

He was in love with a fairytale, something he could never have. It was hurting him each and every day, and he was sure that he had been losing his mind to it before Merlin had turned up and given him a reason again. It felt like a curse, being in love with something that was beyond his reach. He just hoped that his young ward never had to deal with love in this way. It was truly a curse, something that could consume a man.

For over the years, she had become more and more like his fairytale. Something that was so perfect in his mind, yet something he knew that he could never have in reality again.


	15. At the beginning

**Sorry, I know these are a bit random when they get updated, it's just when I get the chance. Next one: At the Beginning, from the Disney film Anastasia (oh my goodness, I adore this song!) Enjoy! **

All those years ago, they had been nothing more than strangers. Standing together, avoiding each other's eye as Uther proclaimed Merlin's position in the royal household. Never did either of them dream that that would be the beginning of their journey towards a destiny that had been foretold since before they were even born. They had no idea what obstacles would stand in their way, the things they would have to go through. Two boys standing at the beginning of an adventure that would turn them into men.

Now, however, Merlin was beginning to believe it. They had come across each other just in time for Arthur's life to be saved. And now, here he was, walking back into Camelot with the new King, held high. It was a new beginning, one where he didn't have to be afraid of the future any more. Arthur had lifted the ban on magic, had made it more than apparent that Merlin didn't have to hide any more.

But in return, Merlin had been there for him. When Arthur had lost hope at Morgana's original betrayal, it had been Merlin who had reminded him what it was that he was fighting for. It had been Merlin telling him that this was just the start of something new, not the end. When everything had crumbled down around the then prince, it had been Merlin there with him. When Arthur's world had stopped, Merlin had been the one to force him to carry on, getting him out of Camelot in order to be able to fight back and reclaim what was rightfully. When the storm had finally passed, Merlin was still there, standing by his side like always.

It was a journey that they were on. It had always been a journey for them, ever since Merlin had thrown that first punch, starting out their crazy adventure. Both had them had changed since then, although whether for better or worse could still be debated. But Merlin felt that it had taught him so much. He knew that he wanted to be able to stand at the beginning of this new Camelot, with Arthur. He wanted to stand by the King's side and know that he was partly responsible for this to happen.

The dream of Albion would live on, no matter what. He had been waiting for so long to get to the stage where the end of the journey had finally come into sight. It had been wonderful, and deadly at the same time, unable to believe the trials and forces that had been against them for nearly the whole process. But he now knew that life was just a road, and whilst they had taken their first few steps towards their destiny on that day, it was up to them to keep going.

For Arthur's part, he couldn't believe the friend he had found in the warlock. He had been so alone, no true friends to be there for him when he was down, tell him that he was being an idiot when he was wrong. He thought it had just been a feeble hope, a prayer that no one would hear that someone else was out there, feeling as in the dark as he was. But then Merlin had come. Merlin, with his secrets. Despite his open attitude, it was clear he never truly let anyone get close, and Arthur had found that it was completely unexpected what he had done to the then prince's heart. He had got through Arthur's boundaries, made him open up in a way no one else could. He knew he owed his relationship with Gwen, with his _wife_ to his manservant. If Merlin hadn't shown him that he wasn't alone, he would have never been able to overcome his own insecurities to admit how he felt about her.

Whilst Merlin wanted to see the new future with Arthur at his side, the King wanted nothing more than for his servant to be the one in it with him. He owed everything to his best friend, and knew that this was Merlin's dream. The final piece of their adventure together, the uniting of all the land. The journey had been long and hazardous, and more than once, Arthur didn't think they would make it. Either through them giving up when everything was against them, when forces of evil had pushed them to the very breaking point, the royal was adamant that Merlin was just being optimistic saying that they were going to get to this point.

But now, standing here, on the very edge of the future they themselves had built, he knew he had been wrong. Nothing was going to stand in their way now. It was their destiny to get to this point, and somehow, between them, they had got there.

Both men caught each other's eye and grinned as the sun graced the horizon, bathing the kingdom in a magical light and making everything look peaceful and at ease. There was no sign of what it had cost them to get here, and yet that was precisely the way they wanted it to be. This was a new start, the past had to be put behind them.

And yet, they both had a simultaneous thought passing through their heads.

There was no one they would rather stand on the edge of a new beginning with than each other.


	16. Couldn't love you more

**Next song: Couldn't love you more, by John Martyn.**

Gwen lay awake deep into the night, staring up at the tree whose leaves blocked out the night sky. She couldn't believe that barely a few paces away, the King of Camelot slept. When she had been banished, she thought that she would never see her home, her friends, her _love_ ever again. The look on Arthur's face as he had sent her away was never one that she was going to forget. But somehow, it was him refusing to open up to her only an hour ago that hurt her deeper.

Before, the sting of betrayal had been fresh, she could see it burning brightly in his eyes. But he had had time to come to terms with it, and still clearly wanted nothing to do with her. Not that Gwen could blame him. She herself still had no idea where those old feelings for Lancelot had come from. She had gone the entire year he had spent living in Camelot feeling nothing but friendship and respect for the Knight, even asking him favours when it came to keeping Arthur safe. But Arthur had always come first, Arthur always _would_ come first. Lancelot had seemed to understand that, he had always done what she had asked, even at the cost of his own life.

But then she had agreed to meet him, and she had no idea why. Only knew that it had destroyed everything between her and Arthur. She knew what the then-prince had overcome to not only admit his feelings to himself, but to be able to admit them to her. He had taken everything he had ever known, ever been taught, and pushed it to one side, defying his father – the one man whose respect he craved more than anything – in order to be by her side. And she had thrown it back in his face.

Sighing, the ex-maid tried to navigate herself into a more comfortable position and catching Merlin's eye as she did so. Her friend grinned softly at her, and Gwen returned it, a small shadow of a smile flitting onto her face for a brief second. She couldn't hold it there though, not when Arthur was refusing to talk to her more than he had to in order to make sure everyone got through these troubled times alive.

She had to find a way to make him believe that she still loved him. That she had never stopped loving him. Gwen knew that she had uttered the words, standing right here in this forest as she had attempted to take the sting away from what Tristan had said. But she wasn't sure whether Arthur believed what she had said, she hadn't been able to look into those expressive eyes for long enough, guilt and shame pressing down on her.

The fact of the matter was, she couldn't love him any more than she already did. He could give her anything, anything she asked for and everything she never would. She would never ask him for anything, yet she knew that he would have granted it if he could. But even if he had done that, she couldn't love him more than she already did.

If he managed to bring the sun down from the sky, kissing it away from the loving embrace of the sky in order to lay it at her feet, she wouldn't love him any more than she already did. If he lied to her to now to make her feel better, to try and soothe her to sleep as she lay under the stars, she couldn't love him anymore.

He could stay be her side for the whole journey back to Camelot, never once straying from her side, and it would not be possible for her feelings to deepen. He had already wasted so much time on her. Arthur could have married anyway, yet he had resisted, despite Uther's best efforts. He could have had any princess or noble woman from across the land, and yet he had waited, waited for _her_. And all the time they had spent having to hide their relationship, all the risks they had taken... The night before their love would be before the whole kingdom, and she had ruined it. She couldn't even love him more if he stayed out in the rain all night in order to be with her. Her love for him was absolute, and she knew that he simply didn't believe it.

"You should tell him, you know." Merlin's quiet voice made her jump, and she realised that her friend was still watching her. He had that look on his face, the one that seemed to imply that he knew so much more than what was being said, as if he had some private knowledge of everything that went on. But Gwen glanced away. Of course Merlin would know. Not only was he her friend, he was Arthur's best friend as well as his servant, even if neither of them would admit it. He would have seen firsthand what Gwen's departure did to the King, he would have seen the devastating effects on both of them.

"He won't listen to me." Gwen said softly, her head automatically turning towards where she could hear Arthur's steady breathing coming from. A stray curl fell down the side of her face, but she made no attempt to brush it away again. It shielded her from Merlin if she left it there, stopped him seeing the pain in her face.

She had never loved someone as much as she had loved Arthur. Everything about him, everything he fought for, everything he held dear... It didn't matter whether he glanced at her or conquered the world for her, she couldn't love him anymore than she already did.

And right now, she had no idea how to get him to believe that, how to even start repairing the damage she had caused to their relationship. He had given her so much, so many hopes and dreams she had never asked for, and she had turned them all into a nightmare for him. If she was honest, Gwen wasn't certain she wanted him to know how much she cared for him.

For if Arthur forgave her, gave her the slightest hint that there would be any hope for them, her love would go to new levels. At this moment in time, she wasn't sure that was possible, let alone how it would feel.


	17. Old Joys

**"Old Joys" by Noah and the Whales this time around!**

Merlin sat quietly on the grass, hearing Arthur's breathing even out as the King fell asleep. Not that the warlock could blame him, when was the last time that either of them had just been able to stop? No duties, no demands or threats that the King of Camelot and his Court Warlock had to deal with it. The old joy of just being able to be in each other's company – no pretence, no titles – it was something that Merlin had almost forgotten until it was coming back to him now.

It was like everything he had ever dreamt didn't seem to be enough anymore. The dreams had almost flown away, been lost as they had striven to make the future brighter. Merlin still believed in Albion, still believed that was what they were achieving, but he didn't have the same dreams for it now as he had done when he was younger. How could he, considering what it had cost them to get here? Lives, loves and friendships shattered, new ones formed. How could there be his original dream of Albion when they had nearly lost themselves in the process of creating the utopia?

Both the King and the Warlock had drawn a line at how far their influence was going to spread. Merlin knew that he had the power to control anyone and anything if the time demanded it, and knew that was what Arthur had been scared of. That day-by-day, Merlin would slip away from him and their simple things that made them smile would disappear. Their old joys would disappear if they had too much influence. As it was, having the castle and Gwen as his wife didn't seem to be enough for the King anymore, it was as if he was after something else. Merlin was as worried about Arthur as the King was about him. He couldn't help it, he had been worrying about the prat since he had saved his life all of those years ago.

What if the dreams weren't enough for them anymore? It was true they were no longer what they used to be, that the dream had been forced to change or risk escaping them altogether. But even though everything that either of them wanted, they ended up with, what happens when that would no longer be too much and they would attempt to stretch that little too far? What then?

Merlin shook himself slightly, letting the sun warm him as he smirked down at the man he had followed since the day he arrived in Camelot. Arthur had proven to be everything the Dragon had predicted, even if it had taken a lot of pain on Merlin's behalf to make that change in the arrogant prat. Could he have lost Arthur the way that he had lost Morgana, isolated and feeling betrayed because of the lies Merlin told on a daily basis?

As Arthur shifted in his sleep, his hand still resting over Excalibur's hilt, Merlin forced the thought away. He wasn't going to think about the way that Arthur was permanently on guard, even when he was supposedly resting. It was nothing to do with Merlin; the warlock knew he had the King's trust. It was to do with the constant threats he had had to deal with ever since becoming King. Or even longer, if Merlin were to think back on it. Not that Arthur knew about half the threats, his servant taking the brunt to protect the then-prince without ever telling him. But Morgana on the other hand...

Staring with unseeing eyes across the river, Merlin sighed. He couldn't think about the dreams he could have had that got away. He would lose himself if he went down that route. His friendship (perhaps more) with Morgana, knowing his father, keeping Will alive and making him see the difference the young servant had been making... It was pointless thinking of the dreams that had slipped through his fingers. Instead, he just had to push them aside. Not forget about them as such, but make sure that his dreams were about the future rather than the past.

Not letting himself ruin the day, Merlin lay back on the grass, his hands folded behind his head as he stared at the clear blue sky. Arthur wasn't the only one constantly on guard, even with just sitting here Merlin's magic was keeping watch, protecting destiny. For a moment, Merlin just blinked at the sky, thoughts and dreams whirling around his head. Was this what he had been striving for ever since he took that first step from Ealdor all of those years ago? Had he done what he had set out to do, or was there still so much more to come? What happened when Albion was born, what would be his dream then?

"Stop thinking..." Letting out a soft laugh, Merlin twisted his head to look at Arthur. The King still had his eyes shut, but he clearly hadn't been as asleep as his ex-servant thought, picking up on the tension rippling through his warlock.

"Yes, Sire." His voice lacking in the respect that Merlin had never quite managed to master, the warlock grinned as he turned his attention back to the sky. Surely it didn't matter what he was dreaming about, for there was more to life than just the ideals that prophecies and his own mind pushed on him? Why shouldn't he just forget about them all for a moment and take the chance to relax, especially as they didn't know when they were going to get another moment like this.

"Stop it." Arthur moaned, subconsciously knowing that Merlin still hadn't let his defences down. As Arthur kicked him on the ankle, Merlin couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. It had been far too long since the old joys of their seemingly carefree youth had been able to play out for them now. Merlin was not going to let the chance go, and kicked Arthur back. He wanted the King to also remember how they had used to be, before destiny started getting too big for them.

He wanted them to remember when there had been more to life than the dreams that had yet come to pass.


	18. Inside Out

**Imelda May, Inside Out for this one. Bit of a soppy, romantic one, I must admit.**

Lancelot couldn't keep his eyes off her. She looked so amazing, and he just hoped that she knew it. Hell, he had tried to tell Gwen often enough just how much he loved her, inside out. He loved everything about her. From her lips, the way she smiled, the way her mouth would soften in compassion and care when one of their friends needed something. All the way to her fingertips and the way her hands betrayed who she was. As beautiful as a Queen, as hard working any maid. Her hands told the story of her life, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

His heart was crazy with love, upside down and inside out. He didn't know which way was up and which was down when he was around her, his blood pounding in his ears as his breath caught in his throat. More than once he had been called lazy as he just stopped whatever it was he was doing to stare at her. But considering how hard his heart was beating at the time, he knew laziness was the last thing on his mind.

He knew they were wasting time. She was holding back on him, and Lancelot had no idea why. He knew that Gwen was more than aware of how he was feeling about her, he didn't exactly keep it a secret. It was frustrating him more than anything, more than even Arthur still not noticing the secret his best friend was keeping. He knew her better than anyone, and knew that Gwen knew the same about him. He had confessed everything to her, bared his very soul, and she was still holding back on him. Yet at the same time, he knew that she loved him too. So what on earth was she waiting for?

Part of him wondered whether she believed him or not. He had left her twice now, put her on a path that had practically broken her heart. But he had always come back for her, and for as long as he lived, he always would. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her, and it was killing him not knowing whether she believed that or not. In a way, he supposed that it was a little bit creepy how often and deeply he declared his love for her, but he couldn't help it.

Then there were times like this. Watching her from across the hall, waiting for the moment she turned ever so slightly. It was so faint, no one else would have noticed it. But there was a smile on her lips, her eyes sparkling like the sun as she caught his gaze across the hall. No one else could notice it because it was directed at him and him only. It was his smile, his gaze. It may have been possessive, but Lancelot treasured the times she looked at him like this, knowing that no one else would be on the receiving end of that look.

"Say you love me." He would murmur in her ear, pressing a soft kiss to her curls and persuading her to give in to him. It wasn't often she would say it, but she would smile at him and her eyes would say what her mouth didn't. He was hers to keep, she wasn't going to be letting him go any time soon. He would return from a quest, worn and grubby, but she would look at him as if there was no one above him. Regardless of the fact that she had once been wooed by the now King, she would look at him as if there was no one else in the world but him.

Lancelot could only express his love in so many ways. But he truly did love her inside out. Every single thing about her, from the way her breath would stutter as his hand ghosted over hers as she walked past, the way her nails would drift down his arm gently to get his attention when other matters had been distracting him. The way she almost seemed to glow with beauty...

"You're mine." She would whisper back, pressing them together. "Mine to keep." And he would be hopeless to do anything but agree. It was like it was almost a spell, she would blink and he would run to do her bidding. But he couldn't help it. It was in those moments when the gentle maid that everyone else knew would disappear and she would become his queen, strong and proud. He may have only been a knight, but she ruled his heart in a way she could have once ruled Camelot. She gave up a possible future to be with him, and as she laid softly breathing in his arms in the darkness, he couldn't help but be humbled. She was beautiful, amazing and kind. She could have the king on his knees. And yet, despite all of that, she was his. His Gwen, his love.

It was true she would claim him, claim that he was hers to keep when he professed just how much he loved her. But he knew that she only did it because he felt the same way. She belonged to him as much as he did her, and he knew that she loved him in the same way.

She loved his smile, his kind hearted and noble nature. She loved the way he would do anything for anybody, the way no job was too big or too small regardless of his new status as one of Camelot's knights. Whilst her hands told of her work as a maid, his told of years with a sword. First as a boy, just training. But then for survival, trying to find a way to make his dreams come true. The day he had been knighted, his dream had come true. But by then, he had already found a new dream.

Twisting in his arms, Gwen pressed a light kiss to Lancelot's lips. She knew all this because she loved him inside out just the way Lancelot loved her.


	19. Somebody that I used to Know

**Sorry, I know it has been ages on these. Next up: Somebody that I used to Know by Goyte. Once again, nothing belongs to me, all rights belong to their respective owners.**

Merlin found himself staring across the small clearing in the forest, the magic dancing from his fingertips as he tried to warn Morgana back without having to either address the witch or use magic. Arthur was an unconscious heap directly halfway between them. Two magical beings on either side, one determined to protect him, the other kill. Merlin wasn't sure whether he could say that he was winning that fight as of yet, especially considering the way the king hadn't listened to his warnings but walked straight into Morgana's magical trap – hence his current predicament.

"What happened to you?" Merlin eventually muttered, his voice soft and low. There was a blue spark weaving its way around his fingers as his magic prepared itself to fight for Arthur's life, but there was a great sadness in Merlin's eyes.

This was the once proud noblewoman that he had come to respect and even love in his own way. Morgana had been afraid of nothing and no one, determined to do what was right regardless of the consequences. She had been brave and beautiful, the only one that the then King of Camelot would listen to. Even Arthur wouldn't have dared to go against her, the woman he considered to be a sister to him being the only one who could put the arrogant prince in his place.

But that was not the Morgana that Merlin was looking at now. Instead he was looking at someone twisted and bitter, who had allowed the magic to corrupt her in exactly the same way she had been taught all of these years. She had cut off all ties with everything and everyone they had once shared a mutual interest in – Arthur, Gwen, Gaius… She had turned her back on them and chosen a different path in life.

"You did." Morgana spat. In contrast to Merlin's blue, there was a dark flame flickering in the palm of her hand and the glare that she was sending him was so fierce that Merlin would have taken a step back if it hadn't meant that she was close to Arthur than he was. He wouldn't risk the King for anything. Merlin dropped his eyes with a sigh.

"I thought we were the same, Morgana. I thought we were right for each. Yet look at us now! You just treat me like I'm some sort of stranger, that everything that we went through didn't happen. You can't pretend that we didn't do those things together, Morgana, because they happened. They made you the person you are now as much as they did for me, and look at us, two opposites." Merlin didn't truly realise that he had started to talk until the words started coming out. They just didn't fit together, they didn't make any sense. And yet he had found that he was almost addicted to her in a certain kind of way. He was the light to her darkness, meaning that he had got himself addicted to a sinner.

"You screwed me over, Merlin." Morgana hissed, pacing back and forth, but thankfully getting no closer to Arthur as she did so. "I thought that it was something that I had done, that the magic was tearing us apart. You said that the magic didn't matter, that it wouldn't come between us because we could be stronger, we could work together."

Merlin made to interrupt, wanting to tell her how right she was. Her magic was tearing her apart, but whilst he knew that he could have handled the whole situation better, she was not the only one that was scared. But unlike her, he hadn't turned his back on everything just out of the fear that they might not accept him, he had just pressed on and hoped that when the time came, everything would be okay. Thankfully, he had been right. Arthur might have yelled at him for the whole kingdom to hear, but the fact that Merlin was now Court Warlock showed that the king had come around eventually and accepted magic. But Morgana pressed on before he had the chance to even open his mouth..

"I didn't want to live like that. I didn't want to have to think about whether you were meaning something else every time that you opened your mouth, whether you were going to betray me or not…"

"Don't try and blame it on me, Morgana." Merlin wasn't going to listen to this anymore. "You chose your own path, and look where it has got you. You're cut off from everything, you have no one. All of our-_your _friends- you've just cut yourself off from them and vanished without telling them why you want them all dead. Did you ever think to give them a chance, to think that they might have actually accepted you?"

"Uther…"

"Uther is dead. Arthur is king now. He accepted me, he would have accepted you if you hadn't been too busy trying to kill him."

The air crackled with magic as the two sworn enemies looked at each other over the motionless body of Merlin's king. He could still remember her smile when she knew that he was helping her with Mordred, the look in her eye when he had followed her to the Druids in order to warn her. They had been happy back then, even if they had not realised it themselves. But her magic had driven them apart, the decisions she had made with it…

Morgana had cut him off at the end of the day. She had refused to listen to any sort of reasoning he might have offered her and tried to kill him more than once. She was no longer the woman he had first accidentally walked in on all those years ago, and staring at her now, he knew that he didn't need her love or acceptance.

"You're just somebody that I used to know, Morgana. Nothing more." And with those words, Merlin let his magic fly, determined to protect Arthur.


End file.
